


Poker Face

by PlagueDoctor31



Category: Evil Dead - All Media Types, Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Dominant Herbert, Hand Jobs, M/M, and it was somewhat successful, flirtation was attempted, submissive Ash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlagueDoctor31/pseuds/PlagueDoctor31
Summary: Ash proposes he can get Herbert to blush. The task proves to be easier said than done.
Relationships: Herbert West/Ash Williams
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55
Collections: Ashbert





	Poker Face

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting anything sexually explicit in a fic >_< soooooooo enjoy!

It all started like every smart decision: Over several rounds of drinks.

“I know, I know!” Ash Williams placed his glass down, “It’s been a while, but give me enough time, and I can make _anyone_ blush. That’s the sign of a true master.”

Dan Cain laughed into his drink as the two men sat next to each other at the local bar. Between the stress of their respective jobs, they tried their best to find time to unwind in a public setting. This time their catching up led to the talk of past relationships. Despite the tragic endings of both of their past lovers, it did not stop them from reminiscing on the happy memories. That is, until Ash, being Ash, began bragging on his prowess in flirtation.

“I’m sure it is,” Dan voiced his skepticism, but a hint of intrigue still lingered in his voice to encourage Ash onward. This caused the other man to puff out his chest and widen his grin with pride.

“It’s all about the right balance of compliments, physical space, and then…” Ash reached out and placed his hand over Dan’s, “Contact.”

This caused another bark of laughter to erupt from Dan as he yanked his hand away, “You can’t be serious!”

“I am!”

“Alright then,” Dan turned in his seat to scan the room, spotting a small group of women laughing over glasses of colorful cocktails, “How about them?”

Ash leaned up in his seat to follow Dan’s line of sight before quickly shaking his head, “They’re in a group. Flirting never works with groups.”

“Well then you’re hardly the master now, are you?” Dan teased, causing Ash to roll his eyes in response.

“How about someone we both know?” Ash took a moment to ponder, “What about that scientist friend you’ve been seeing recently?”

Dan shook his head, “Too easy. You could stand close to him and he’ll blush.”

“Alright, a challenge then.”

Both men quieted down as they sipped their drinks and thought. It needed to be someone on their own, preferably a person they both knew, and would serve as a challenge to Ash’s boasted skills. A thought flashed in Ash’s mind. A crazy thought. His eyes widened in realization as he looked at Dan. Dan’s eyes were widening too as he looked up as well.

“He’ll kill you,” was all Dan could say.

“No he won’t,” Ash grinned.

“Yes he will.”

“Loser pays for drinks next time.”

Dan paused at the proposal. He looked at his drink, and then at Ash, and then back down at his drink. With a sigh, he raised his glass in a toast.

“Well… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

|------[-------------------}-----

**Attempt One:**

After making some excuse about his trailer needing to get fumigated, the stage was set as Ash set himself up in the guest bedroom of the home of Daniel Cain and Herbert West. The day ran as normal, with Ash aiding in cleaning up the house. He was unsurprised to find it was Dan’s idea, with the door to the basement being locked and dish duty being assigned to Ash and Herbert respectively. Dan snuck a quick thumbs-up to Ash before leaving the two alone in the kitchen.

“So…” Ash tested the waters as he moved to stand by the sink, “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yes. It has.” Herbert spoke bluntly as he pulled what was left in the strainer to put away. His voice betrayed a hint of irritation, making Ash infer that the man would rather not be doing something like this. This will be tricky, but not impossible. He turned the faucet and spoke over the rushing sound to make his first steps.

“Any progress on your work then, Doc?” Ash casted out an icebreaker, keeping it casual but adding a hint of curiosity to lure the doctor in. He bit his lip to hide his smile as he watched Herbert out of the corner of his eye pause briefly at the question. As strange as he was, the great Herbert West was still a human, and a prideful one at that. How could he not resist going off about his theories when asked?

“I’ve taken a detour in my research,” Herbert placed the pots into the lower cupboard, “If I create a solution to extend the freshness of a corpse, the window of time to enact proper re-animation will also grow and make continuing the work all the easier.”

This time Ash did allow himself to smile, as he could practically hear the excitement in the other man’s voice.

“But…” Herbert’s excitement seemed to falter as he moved back towards the strainer, “I have yet to figure out what aspect of decay would be the most viable avenue in making a solution for.”

“Perhaps something to do with the pH levels?” Ash pondered aloud. Herbert turned to look at Ash, not expecting his response.

“What?”

“You know,” Ash nodded, “The lack of oxygen coming into the body after death makes the pH level go down, and that makes the cells start to break down. Basically speaking.”

Ash looked back at Herbert, who stared at him with the widest eyes of shock and surprise, his mouth even slightly agape. A laugh bubbled up in his throat, as he couldn’t help but find the usually stoic man’s expression to be amusing.

“What?” Ash grinned.

“How did you know that?”

“The pH stuff?” Ash shrugged nonchalantly, “I took chemistry in college.”

“Ah,” was all Herbert responded with as he took the last of the dishes and stepped away. Ash watched him go with disappointment poking his core. He caught the man off guard, sure, but a blush was not achieved. He’s going to have to push a little harder. Continuing to watch as Herbert raised himself onto his toes to get at the top shelf, an idea popped in Ash’s mind. He shut off the water and crossed the kitchen.

“Here, let me help you,” Ash reached up, gently guiding the plates in Herbert’s hands to their place on the shelf. Such action required Ash to stand with his chest up flushed against Herbert’s back, and he performed it with stride. As if on cue, the smaller man turned around once they were out of his hands.

“Was that all of the dishes?” Herbert spoke with an even tone. This needed a little more of a push, so Ash reached behind Herbert to lean on the counter, making the space between them even smaller.

“Yeah,” Ash softened his voice, “I think so.”

Herbert peered up at the taller man, narrowing his eyes as if he were mentally solving a puzzle. Ash blinked. That was not the expression he was aiming for.

“Good.”

And like that, Herbert pushed passed Ash and left the kitchen at a brisk pace, passing Dan as he left. Ash straightened up to see Dan’s eyebrow raise with amusement. A small smile bloomed on the man’s lips as he teased.

“That’s Strike One.”

|------[-------------------}-----

**Attempt Two:**

The next opportunity for Ash to try again came when all three of them were down in the basement, as Herbert and Dan stood around the autopsy table, studying the rotting remains of an animal that no one really wanted to know where Herbert found it. Dan’s cheeks were paling a sickly green from disgust while the two poked through the decay. Meanwhile Ash sat off to the side with a bored expression, but making sure to keep an eye on Herbert for another opportunity. He knew he would get one, for he was right next to the tray full of utensils, utensils that Herbert would reach down and pick up every now and again.

“Look right here, Dan,” Herbert observed, leaning closer to the body, “Blowfly eggs. They’ll hatch into maggots soon. Perhaps insect repellant or a pesticide may prove useful in reducing the rate of decay.”

Ash yawned, watching at Herbert reach towards the tray and picked up the tweezers. Dan recoiled as the other man began lifting up an egg.

“Are you sure you never wanted to be a pathologist?” Dan questioned with a strained voice. That got a chuckle out of Herbert, who was holding the egg up to the light to inspect it.

“Pathologists prefer their subjects to _stay_ dead. I desire no such thing.”

“But you’d have better access to bodies.”

Herbert scowled at Dan as he placed the tweezers down. Ash’s lips quirked up slightly with amusement.

“I mean, he’s got a point,” Ash voiced his opinion. He bit his lip again to stifle his laughter as Herbert balked at the fact that Ash did not take his side. The scientist let out a huff of frustration, but perhaps Ash could give a little to get a little.

“But you’ve got one too, I think,” Ash reasoned, watching as Herbert looked up with surprise, “Yeah! Doctors have knowledge in both anatomy and chemistry, at least when it comes to medicine.”

“Precisely, Ashley,” Herbert grinned smugly at Dan, very much glossing over the fact that Ash agreed with Dan’s argument also, “Now, let’s dissect what remains of the organs.”

Herbert reached down to pick out a scalpel, and Ash knew his moment had come. As quick as he could, he shot it hand out towards the tray.

“Let me get that for you!”

Such action resulted in Ash’s hand wrapping around Herbert’s, just as he predicted. Blinking at the result, Ash couldn’t help but be surprised at the softness of the other man’s skin, the slight coolness of his touch. Ash could get used to holding a hand like that. He looked up, hoping what he did bore fruit.

Well… not quite. Herbert looked shocked, sure, but no blush, no flustered stammering, nothing. That same puzzled expression crossed over his face, but Ash had no time to contemplate what the man could be thinking before a sharp sting hit the back of his hand, causing Ash to yelp and pull his hand back. It took Ash a few moments to realize that Herbert had swatted his hand. Ash blinked in surprise, feeling his heart pound a little faster in his chest. Without a word, Herbert stepped away from the table and went across the room to the sink to wash his hands.

It was then that Ash noticed Dan was staring at him with a smirk before snickering.

“That’s Strike Two.”

|------[-------------------}-----

**Attempt Three:**

“So. Are you going to admit I told you so?”

“The night isn’t over yet, Dan. I still got time.”

The two men sat on the couch, the television droning in the background. The sun had set, and Herbert could be heard in the other room reshelving one of the many stacks of books throughout the house (after Dan apparently tripped on it one too many times). Ash looked in the direction of that room, clenching his jaw in determination. Not only was his wallet on the line, but also his pride. The scientist may be a tough nut to crack, but he will crack. Ash was sure of it.

“He’s not going to budge,” Dan reiterated, taking a sip of his beer, “In all my time knowing him, the only thing that’s ever got him excited was his work. I’ve never seen him show interest in women or men.”

“Well maybe he has, and you’re just being oblivious,” Ash argued, taking a swing from his own bottle, to which Dan laughed.

“Now you’re just being optimistic.”

“You’ll see!” Ash pointed at Dan, “I just need to change up my tactics. Be a little more forward.”

The skepticism was plain on Dan’s face, but nevertheless called out towards the other room.

“Herbert! Could you help us with something?”

The request was followed by a pause, which was then followed by shuffling as Herbert stuck his head into the doorway with a disinterested expression.

“Could you…” Dan glanced around the room to find an excuse, his eyes landing on the television, “gives us your thoughts on this?”

Herbert peered at the TV and narrowed his eyes at the program, “It’s football.”

“Yes, and we want your opinion on it.”

Herbert looked back and forth between the two men on the couch and the football game that droned on and on. With an irritated huff he stepped into the room, stopping next to the couch. As he stared at the television screen, Dan spoke up again.

“What do you make of the injuries of the players? Think guys like them would make for good subjects?”

“Too many head concussions,” Herbert responded with a disinterested tone, “Bodies are in excellent form for testing, but their brains might’ve taken too much damage for proper reanimation.”

Ash smirked, seeing an opportunity to jump in, “Got an eye for the muscular guys then, huh?”

Next to him, Ash could hear Dan choke on his drink and could see him quickly wiping his mouth. Remaining steadfast, he watched as Herbert’s head whipped around to glare daggers straight at him. Ash simply smiled wider, raising his hands slightly in defense.

“Hey, nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their tastes. Can’t say I blame you, y’know? Nice big, strong bodies. Probably have great anatomy too.”

“ _Ash._ “

Ash turned and his seat and almost let out a bark of laughter at the sight of Dan’s flushed face, covering his mouth to hide his expression. He couldn’t help but give the man a little nudge before looking up at Herbert to gauge his expression as well. Sadly, the scientist did not have a similar reaction, his expression deadpan as he rolled his eyes. Before Ash could try again, Herbert stepped away from the couch and left the two alone.

Disappointment sank in Ash’s chest as he sat there, letting out a sigh as his smile disappeared and he slumped further into the couch. A comforting hand patted his shoulder, and he looked up to see Dan smiling apologetically at him.

“Strike Three… You lose.”

|------[-------------------}-----

Ash trudged into the bedroom, not even bothering to shut the door behind him as he began changing out of his clothes. The day had been an abject failure and a blow to his pride, and what’s worse he’s facing a serious dent in his wallet in the near future. The best he could do now and let his mind drift to better thoughts as he slept. With his shirt and pants tossed to the side, Ash popped off his prosthetic hand with a twist and turned to set it down with his bag… Only to let out a yelp when he discovered Herbert standing in the doorway.

“Jesus!” Ash nearly jumped back, “What the hell? Do you need help or something?”

Herbert tilted his head, very obviously looking up Ash’s half-naked body as he fully entered the room and shut the door, “Something…”

Ash gulped, taking a step back as he raised his hand in defense, “Look, if this about today, I’m sorry. Obviously I was bothering you. It won’t happen again.”

It happened in a flash. Ash blinked, and before he knew it Herbert was standing right up against him. The sudden movement made Ash stumble back and fall onto the bed, causing Herbert to smile smugly with amusement.

“Did you really think I was that naive, Ashley?” A teasing tone accented Herbert’s voice as he stalked closer to the bed, “I knew what you were doing.”

Ash scrambled back into a sitting position as Herbert, still fully clothed with shoes and all, crawled onto the bed to join him. It was obvious by his expression that Herbert was enjoying the reaction he was getting. Gradually he grew closer, and closer, and even closer. Ash instinctively reached up a hand. For what? He had no idea. But before he could figure out what to do with it, he felt the soft cool fingers of Herbert’s hand wrap around his. Ash’s eyes grew wide at the action, feeling his whole body grow hot. He watched as Herbert gently pulled his hand towards him, inspecting the man’s arm with a gaze that seemed to pierce the very skin, admiring the thrumming veins and muscles that lay just underneath.

“You’re right,” Herbert spoke aloud as he continued observing, “I prefer them to be strong, like you. But I prefer them to be smart as well, which I’m sure you’re happy to hear that you pleasantly surprised me. If it weren’t for Dan being present, I would’ve considered taking you up on your offers.”

Ash’s mind went blank at the admission. Was… Was that why he never got a good reaction out of Herbert? Because Dan was there? He could only imagine how the scenarios would’ve ended if they were truly alone. Well, he didn’t really have to imagine. It was happening right now. The heat inside him only grew more intense as he attempted to stammer out a response, only to have his voice die in his throat as he watched the other man ghosted his lips over the pulse point on Ash’s wrists. However, Herbert’s eyes darted down, something catching his eyes as he smirked.

“Well, someone’s excited.”

Ash looked down, and was shocked to see a stiffness growing in his boxers. He didn’t know if this was due to a lack of private time with his favorite (and only) flesh and blood hand, or if something about this scientist was really winding him up. Though, Ash had to admit that was happening was, at the very least, more than a little arousing. However, he had no more time to ponder on the nature of his feelings, as Herbert’s hand down gripped Ash’s wrist and a second hand began traveling up his hairy chest. All the while, Herbert kept up that observing stare, observing all the little movements that came out of Ash. The touch was wondering, curious even, as it traced down along the muscles of his abdomen. Ash’s breathing hitched, his heart beating faster and fast as the heat grew more and more. Damn his hands felt so good. His back arched up, urging the hand further down. Herbert hummed approval and traced along the waistband of the boxers.

“May I…?” he asked, surprisingly soft, surprisingly polite. Ash simply nodded and gasped as those cool fingers slipped under the fabric.

Ash’s heart was beating like a drum, the hot and cold melding together and shooting pleasure right up his spine and right then and there he felt like he could explode. All his mind could think of was that smooth skin slowly moving up and down in time as the pressure built itself up more and more. His hips bucked, his legs squirmed, and grunts and groans escaped his throat. He looked up, staring at the bespectacled eyes that stared down at him. Ash couldn’t take it anymore. Wrenching his hand free, Ash made a grab for the front of Herbert’s shirt, closing the gap between them. As their lips collided, it was if all the heat contained within Ash spilled over, punctuated by the load moan he let loose against Herbert’s mouth. His body was tense, keeping the other man in his place for what felt light eons. The intensity waned, the heat ebbing away ever so slowly, until at last Ash let go to breathe, letting his head fall back on the pillow in sudden exhaustion.

Herbert, meanwhile, stared at the man in shock, “I… er. Yes, well…”

The hand withdrew from Ash’s boxers, and the glistening in the low light of the evening betrayed what had happened. A lopsided grin bloomed on Ash’s face as he watched Herbert’s bewildered expression as he stared at his soiled hand.

“Weren’t expecting that, were you?” Ash questioned with a breathy laugh. Herbert floundered for a response, eventually settling on shaking his head. Ash furrowed his brow and propped himself up.

“You have done this before, right?”

Herbert remained silent. Too silent. Realization dawned on Ash, and his eyes widened.

“Wait, you seriously--?”

“Just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I know how it works!” Herbert hotly interjected, his cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink. Ash blinked, hardly believing what he was seeing.

“You’re blushing…”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Makes you look pretty cute.”

Herbert shot Ash a flustered glare, causing the man to chuckle as he sat himself up more.

“Look, it’s obvious we got a bit of chemistry, so let’s try this again on a better foot,” Ash smiled as Herbert raised an eyebrow, “Drinks on me tomorrow. How does that sound?”

Herbert straightened himself up, once again looking up and down Ash’s body in appraisal. He gave a stiff nod before standing up.

“Very well. But don’t tell Dan. Not yet.”

With that, Herbert quickly left the room, no doubt to wash his hand. Ash fell back on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling with a triumphant grin.

“I win.”

**Author's Note:**

> It felt so good revisiting Ashbert again, and I hope you all enjoyed it as well! Thank you so much for reading! <3


End file.
